'It's hard to stay mad when there is so much beauty in the world'

- Lester Burnham in the film American Beauty

The characters in my stories are you, they are me, they are a amalgamation of all the stuff of my personal universe all meshed and sunken into one another. My characters are everyone and they are no one, they are a theory-fiction, a pawn in the game, always playing. They are paradoxical and they never say what they mean and sometimes I am the pawn, a vessel by which they speak, a slave to their every whim. Then and only then do they become real to me.

'Be Here Now'

- Ram Dass

Beach House at the beach house..

Fast motion makes you feel so good. The rush is like no other. When you fall or trip there is always that moment of thrill, that thrill is uncertainty. Will you land on your feet? Will you break? these questions are left behind, caught up in space and time while you collapse into the motion like a rolling stone. We are taught to hold on to gravity and people until we are left with nothing but rope burn on our hands. Let go, that's the secret. That's what they don't teach you; to let go, remove your armor, enjoy the ride, hit the bottom, feel the impact, check your pulse - yes you are here, Now.

'How To Disappear Completely'

- Radiohead live. listen here and you will completely disappear

'Is it any use for me to tell you that all you believe real is illusion?'

-Thomas Pynchon

Today nothing was mundane, a hyper perceptive day, ultra vivid. Someone told me that some crazy people just think they are becoming more perceptive and that they shut off from the world because they begin to see through the colored cellophane. Me? I like the cellophane but I don't need it. I see the colors with the eyes closed. I'm not willing to unlearn the dirty devices of this world just yet. We are thrown into this world, starving, hysterical, naked, wanting everything at once in all shades, never full until we are burning with desire, burning in the landscape that moves us, burning in the ones that we love. We will be remembered for running through hell in a gasoline jacket just to play with fire.

And through the ages I've ached for you,

Ive preserved myself in hot water,
studied the necessary physics,
I've sat with witches
and pushed glass with my fingers
To feel your spirit again,
To be at peace, to be ourselves again.
Because of course, through all this time
I haven't blinked, haven't parted a lip
To renounce my obsession,
And yes, through all this time,
even though Ive been every one of them:
Priest, Judas, whore,
and despite my romantic discord
I've been bored with it all.
Without you, it's all been done before.

- Jessica Alice (a poetess from my creative writing course)

'For a long time she had lived the life of the world without belonging to it'

- Herman Hess

I walked home in the rain today because it felt good. I don't know why I did it, to feel awake, to feel alive, to feel. I don't want to fall asleep at the trigger. I have a good friend who quit law school this year to live in an Ashram. Now he devotes his life to the practice of transcendental meditation. I think he'd been pushed to the edge, the edge of his intellectuality, the edge of his rationality, and so he leapt over. Antigravity, that was always my superhuman power of choice. To transcend, to go beyond the stuff of this world. It will never be enough, but that's OK. You will always want something more, more knowledge, more experiences, your hunger will never cease. Truth is a fable, stay curious. Every sentence should be finished with an ellipses rather than a full stop...